Melbourne, I AM IN YOU.

Or will be shortly. And by shortly I mean in a week. ish.

Because I seem to have a horseshoe wrapped in four leaf clovers stuck up my arse as of late, I’ve decided to post the following message, which I’d usually reserve for a Facebook status, below. Because, hey, some awesome Aussie employer could just happen to be googling ‘Kayak Sex‘ (I don’t judge) and just happen to stumble upon this message and be all like ‘Aw, this chick seems awesome. Ima totally going to offer her this awesome job with very respectable pay in a conveniently located neighborhood, the perks of which just happen to involve free rent in this awesome flat above said workplace‘.

. . .It could happen. You don’t know. Continue reading

Photos added

Additional photos (19 of ’em, to be exact) have been added to the photo essay ‘Mellish in May‘. The pictures are largely of baby piglets, and cattle nomming the shit out of some lick.

I was, for no particular reason, in a poor mood today. Looking at photos of adorable/hilarious aminals proved to be a good task choice. Hopefully their tiny snouts and satisfied faces bring a bit of joy to your day as well.

 

SQUEE.

The 19 photos added are from Mellish Park Cattle Station in North Queensland, Australia. Taken throughout May, 2013.

Click here to view them via the Flickr.

Or here to view via the Facebooks.

*

New Photo Essay: Mellish in May

Winding down from round one of the muster, off to the races in Gregory and roadtripping to Cloncurry.

75 photos from Mellish Park Cattle Station and surrounding areas in Queensland, Australia. Taken throughout April and May, 2013.

Click here to view them via the Flickr.

Or here to view via the Facebooks.

*

Toutons

Allow me to share with you a terrible, wonderful recipe. It comes all the way from the magical island of Newfoundland.

The recipe is as follows:

1 – Make bread dough
2 – Instead of allowing it to fulfill its life purpose by baking/rising in the oven, instead beat the shit out of it. Then fry it in pork fat.
3 – Because life is too short, top this delicious monstrosity with products that are either 80% fat, or sugar or both. Molasses is classic. Butter is also an option.

. . .yep, that’s about it. Continue reading

So Here’s What Happened: Mellish to Sweers


It happened because:
1 – I am a chatty bitch and
2 – It was the second Thursday of the month.

The greater part of the muster was done and Al and Bev had some friends they wanted to visit in the South. But ‘The Oldies’, as Eth and Eileen are affectionately called, wouldn’t be joining them. In their late 80’s and 90’s respectively, the gals understandably need a bit of help and looking after. Bev usually takes care of this, and asked if I could fill in for her.

I was reluctant in the sense that it makes me nervous to be responsible for the well being and safety of someone else (likely because I frequently fail to maintain my own). Continue reading

5 Less Awesome Things About Station Life

Bonus non-awesome thing: barbed wire. That shit is like pointy velcro, just waiting to rip clothes and remove hair. Whenever I’m tightening a length on a fence I keep waiting for it to snap and gut me. I will never do another barbed wire tattoo IN MY LIFE.

Because balance is desirous in (almost) all things, as a compliment to Thursday’s post might I present the following five ‘less awesome things’ about living out in, as the locals say, ‘woop woop’: Continue reading

New Photoset: Yard All The Things

Because once you get em home you need to do something with them.

43 photos from round one muster at my current home/place of employment: Mellish Park Cattle Station in North Queensland, Australia. Taken throughout April, 2013.

Oh, guys. I know it’s called the ‘crush’ and all but this is. . .incorrect.

Click here to view them via the Flickr.

Or here to view via the Facebooks.

*

New Photoset: Muster All The Things

54 photos from round one muster at my current home/place of employment: Mellish Park Cattle Station in North Queensland, Australia. Taken throughout April, 2013.

Click here to view them via the Flickr.

Or here to view via the Facebooks.

*

5 Awesome Things About Station Life

I won’t say ‘best’ or ‘favourite’, because that just opens the door for me to obsessively rack my brain (is there something I’m missing? There’s something I’m missing) to be sure I have THE BEST, MOST ACCURATE LIST POSSIBLE. But these are five things, that easily come to mind, that never fail to add a bit of joy to my life here each and every week:  Continue reading

Kayak Sex

Despite being a blogger, there aren’t many blogs I religiously follow. One that I do is The Pervocracy, a sex positive BDSM blog written by a feminist kinkster named Cliff.

Outside of some fantastic articles on everything from combating gender stereotypes to how to butt sex someone up but good, Cliff writes a monthly feature entitled ‘Cosmocking’ in which s/he takes the piss out of that month’s Cosmopolitan magazine (and it’s heavily photo-shopped cover). The series is consistently good, and I tend to share the article with friends via Facebook, along with a quote from a bit I found particularly giggle-worthy. This month’s share was this:

“Anyway, I know kayak sex can’t be done, because I looked for pictures of it, and I couldn’t find any. If there isn’t a picture of a sex act on the Internet, it is physically impossible.”

Because I have the friends I do, one of them sent this photo in response to my share:

1011225_10151709577551648_1269624742_n

. . Touche, Jason. Touche.

*

(The picture, in case you were wondering, is of former gymnast/body-builder and current professional kayaker Freya Hoffmeister.)